Disputes over contact are, sadly, some of the most bitter Court cases, and all
too often it does appear the dispute is between the parents rather than about
what's best for the child. Communication and trust are normally the key, both a
major problem when a couple split up acrimoniously. For this reason, the Courts
and the Legal Services Commission have strongly encouraged mediation (in its
various forms) and this has been enormously successful.
Research has shown that contact with an absent parent is vital for a child to
maintain his/her sense of identity as part of growing up as a whole being. There
is, in short, a presumption that contact will be in the child's best interests
and Courts will normally order contact save in exceptional circumstances. They
will also be prepared to make sure that their orders actually work.
There is, however, an important exception - where violence has occurred or
still is occurring between the parents. Research has shown the terrible effects
upon children of witnessing violence in their home, even if they have not been
physically affected or even present. Violence is our modern nightmare.
Where violence has occurred and may be relevant, a Court will have to look at
it very seriously to decide what did happen; what effects it has had; at the
parents' attitude to what has happened; and their ability to recognise its
significance.
Contact can take many forms. With very small children, 'little and often' is
the guideline. For many families with school age children, the norm is for them
to spend every other weekend with the other parent, and a fair amount of time at
holidays. Of course, for families who live far apart, this may not be possible,
but letters, telephone calls and photographs may be exchanged as forms of
'indirect contact'. Where there are reasons for limiting contact because of
fears of violence, a Court may order indirect contact for a while.
If contact cannot take its normal form, perhaps because of serious concerns
about the other parent, it may still be possible at one of the many voluntary
Contact Centres that have sprung up across the country, for whom many people
will be eternally grateful. It may be supervised by an appropriate person,
although these procedures should normally be regarded as short term only.
The Children and Adoption Act 2006 (due to be implemented shortly) provides a
wide range of powers for courts to ensure contact actually works, from unpaid
word orders to therapy. The Government has made a major commitment to its policy
of 'making contact work.' These issues seem likely to occupy courts for many
years to come.