Disputes over children are governed by the Children Act 1989, which was so revolutionary it took two years to come into force and is still very much misunderstood. It abolished terms such as "Custody" and "Access" and instead gave us ' Parental Responsibility:' effectively passing responsibility for children from lawyers and courts back to those best qualified to make decisions - their parents.
The Act encourages parents, who have split up, to make their own decisions about their children's welfare and only to come to court if there is a dispute that they cannot resolve themselves. Even then, courts will often refer parents to mediation and conciliation to help them make decisions by agreement wherever possible. The Legal Services Commission will also refer parents to mediation before granting Legal Aid. The systems vary across the country but the aim is the same, to help parents decide between themselves rather than have someone else decide for them.
Sadly, disputes over children are frequently intractable. Judges are often worried about whether the dispute is essentially between the adults rather than about the child. It's important to bear in mind that judges, magistrates, CAFCASS officers and mediators are thinking about how the child can get the most their parents and families.
At the end of the day, the Act says, the welfare of the child is paramount.