It can be daunting meeting with a family lawyer but we don’t bite, I promise!
Your solicitor at the first appointment will want to:
- Obtain a lot of background information from you;
- Explain the process and law to you;
- Guide you as to the next steps;
- Respond to any questions or worries you may have; and
- Support you emotionally in this difficult time and, if necessary, signpost you to other relevant professionals that may need to be involved.
The aim, if possible, is for you to resolve any disputes outside court and as amicably as possible to protect the children from ongoing conflict and keep your legal costs to a minimum.
To help you feel more confident and to make the most of your appointment, it is a good idea to be prepared before your meeting with a family lawyer as your solicitor will ask for a significant amount of background information so that they can give you tailored advice.
Why are you seeking advice?
Describe any problems, worries that you have and your priorities. Have an idea as to what you would like to achieve and what you want to avoid. It is also useful for you to think about what your partner/ex-spouse/ex-partner’s position is likely to be.
Make a note of all your questions beforehand to bring with you during the appointment.
It is part of the solicitor’s job to make sure you understand all that is discussed. You should be able to come out your appointment with clarity and reassurance, rather than confusion, so if there is anything your solicitor hasn’t addressed or anything they have but you don’t understand, ask your solicitor during the appointment to (re-)explain.
Gather relevant details and documents
If there are any existing orders/ deeds/ contracts or other formal agreements, make sure that you send a copy of the document to your solicitor before the appointment.
If the appointment is regarding prenuptial/cohabitation agreements, divorce/separation and finances, have to hand information about the up-to-date value of all yours and your partner/ex-spouse/ex-partner’s income, assets (i.e. properties, savings, investments, chattels), liabilities, pensions in the UK and/or abroad.
However, you must not access confidential documents addressed to your partner/ex-spouse/ex-partner without their consent as doing so may be a criminal offence.
More specifically as to any property, it is helpful if you have details of how the Land Registry title to the property is held, how the purchase moneys were raised, who contributed & how much to the purchase and to any renovations, a recent valuation, the amount outstanding on the mortgage.
As to pensions, if you are able to, request from the pension provider the “cash equivalent value for divorce purposes” asking them to complete Form P.
If the appointment is regarding children matters, have information about their health, schooling, the contact arrangements, and be open about any safeguarding concerns you have or your partner/ex-spouse/ex-partner has.
If the appointment is about domestic abuse, have examples with times and dates and descriptions of the behaviours (which does not necessarily have to be physical, but can be emotional, psychological, controlling and coercive behaviour, financial, sexual) including when this behaviour started, the worst incident and the most recent incident. Set out when you sought help from the police, friend, family, doctor, therapist, charity or other. Think about what evidence you may have or could obtain in relation to the behaviours, any witnesses, and as to the help was sought. Explain what impact the behaviours have had on you and any children.
Keeping a timeline and a diary will be useful with you being able to inform your solicitor regarding all of the above.
Bring a notepad to your appointment so that you can make notes and ask the solicitor at the outset if the appointment will be followed with anything in writing.
Try not to worry
The first meeting is exploratory and does not commit you to taking any action, starting court proceedings, or instructing the solicitor further.
Solicitors are there to advise, not judge. Full and accurate information, even if it feels uncomfortable, allows your solicitor to give advice that properly protects your position. Everything you discuss is confidential. Being upfront from the start helps avoid surprises later and leads to better outcomes.
By getting early legal advice you are getting help to understand your rights and responsibilities from the outset, avoid common pitfalls, and make informed decisions before positions become entrenched. This is likely to help prevent disputes from escalating, protect your financial position, and encourage constructive solutions.
Here to help
At FJG, our family law team is committed to providing expert, compassionate advice during one of life’s most challenging transitions. We are committed to supporting you through this challenging time.
Lisa O’Boyle is a Senior Associate Solicitor in our Family Law Team, specialising in family matters including children, divorce, financial matters arising upon divorce and domestic abuse.
For further advice on any aspect of family law or to discuss meeting with a family lawyer, please contact one of our team in our Colchester, Clacton or Chelmsford offices on 0845 543 5700, or via our online enquiry form.